Identity

In a purely philosophical sense, the question 'who am I?' opens many doors which in turn seem to open many others in their wake. It is not just a slightly egotistic exercise for the mind, it is also a tool for self realization.

The answers to that question are myriad. Ranging from the specific, my name is ABC, son/daughter of DEF, etc., to the extremely vague, where even the existence of reality may be questioned, where sensory perceptions can be fooled and anything can happen.

Our identity is wrapped up in a thousand different colored threads. Each represents a different part of our life that has claim on us. I am an animal, a mammal, a human, a woman, a daughter, a friend, a cousin, a student, an employee, a writer, a movie addict, and so on and so forth. At any given time I am an undefinable combination of all that makes me. I am as common and as unique as any one of us. That combination of beings within one is never of the same balance in any of us. We may have many beings in common but probably as many apart.

The 'self' is a very tricky thing. After all no one can experience me like I can. Each of our worlds do revolve around us. They must. You alone perceive your surroundings. You may be taught and instructed and commanded. But the experience of your actions comes through you. When I try to understand selflessness, I generally fail. I know that in the English language that word is tied up with a positive connotation. It is associated with people who seem to be paragons of virtue. Who leave self aside and live only for others. I simply cannot see how. I personally do not believe it is possible to be without self, without identity.

To do good for others does not mean to deny self. Even if it may translate very literally like that sometimes, where you give your bread to someone else so that they may survive. Even in such a case, the self has not disappeared. There is gratification in doing good. It is impossible to simply remove yourself from any situation. You can make a decision which may be better for someone else rather than you, but you have not left the knowledge of yourself anywhere, it is there with you essentially there, for all time.

We our born with our own lots. We are our own keepers. We may identify with others, we may love others, we may seek out others, but the only thing that will never desert us is ourselves. This realization is not as self evident as you might think it is. It takes time for a person to realize that to make yourself happy and content is one of the only priorities in life. Without self happiness, you cannot help anyone else. Only if you are content can you really help others be content. You can then love with everything you have because then there will be no resentment, no ugliness. You must have self worth and happiness in order to be a good daughter, mother, wife, citizen, good anything really.

I guess what I really wanted to say through all this rambling is that happiness that comes through being content with one's self, is the only pure kind. It brings no envy, no bitterness and it shines through and multiplies. Understanding one's self, understanding all the facets of one's identity and learning to live with it, that's all we need to do.

Now that sounds easy dunnit? heheheheheehe